New York or Bust

You see this? This is me, Miss Mandi, and my good friend, Sir Evan Kirby, confused. Why are we confused? Well, we are confused because we're sad, why are we sad? Well, because we are poor. We wish we had loads of money, or that we were old enough to donate plasma at the very least, because we are in need of roughly $5,000.
I know. I know. I am fully aware that this is a boat load of money, and that we are really stretching the wallet. But we are in desperate need. If we do not find Sister Erica Brown a husband or sell my cat within ten days, we are resulting to desperate measures, meaning, we will have no other choice then to sell our body parts and play violin and dance on the street. People it is cold! New York. New York. We must attend, our Seminary is going. It is New York or bust. We may even sleep in a tent in central park if needed. But. We are going to get there.
So. If you've any fool proof ideas on how to earn $5,000 by the end of may. Help us out!

If not, wanna buy my kidney?