its just, like, whatever.

the world is a tough place to live in, have you noticed?

the world can really get you down.

body image. something no one really likes to talk about, ever. unless you are one hundred and fifty percent sure of your body and your personality and your style and you never wish to be something different, you know what i mean. its hard to look around you and see all these beautiful people and wonder where exactly you fit in all of this?

finding your own little corner of the world can be difficult.

its nearly impossible to love someone else if you've a difficult time loving yourself. learning to love yourself is the biggest step in a relationship, i think, because eventually your doubts will dominate the relationship. & you'll discover you are somewhere you really don't want to be.

i've been arguing with myself a whole lot lately. inwardly. beating myself up for the little things. beating myself up for things i have said as well as the things i haven't. i've experienced a lot of inner turmoil over the past four days. i haven't been comfortable with myself mentally, physically, or emotionally and i haven't hid it well. life is hard.

but REM said it best.

"everybody hurts, take comfort in your friends,

everybody hurts, don't throw your hand.

...well everybody hurts sometimes.

everybody cries.

everybody hurts sometimes.

so hold on"

i haven't felt awesome. or smart. or creative.

i haven't created anything beautiful in awhile. and reading the assigned ish is overpowering the pleasurable things i'd rather be reading. i've not been able to sleep because my mind goes a million miles an hour. its kind of a bummer train.

i guess it is time to pray, change my clothes, wash my hair & move on.

life blows sometimes.

but that's life. ain't no doubt about it.

this is simply how it goes.