fears.

i have three irrational fears.

1. an irrational fear of snakes.

2. an irrational fear of high heels.

and 3. an irrational fear of public restrooms.

all of which i have had far more than my fair share with in this past week.

they're irrational. i know they are irrational. but let me vent with you for a few seconds. if i could have your time. may have your time? just a fraction.

first. snakes. "why'd it have to be snakes." (name the flick. & i'll fist bump you.)

i hate them. okay. hate is an understatement i loathe them. absolutly loathe them. what are they good for? eating grasshoppers & mice? oh. & maybe for those terribly fashionable mini skirts the teens of the 90s used to wear. who knows? but honestly. the fear i hold for these creatures is so strong just the thought of them makes my skin crawl, they set my teeth on edge for days. i go hiking and i mind my own business. it's not as if i go looking for them. hardly. i am just a girl out on the simple mission of enjoying nature when wa-bam. snakes in my way. hhhh. snakes. i hate em. i absolutly and positively hate them. but seeing as they are a tiny part of the food chain instead of killing them with a rock, stick or cat, i smile at them, wish them a happy day and sidestep out of their way. with my knees a'knockin.

but i still hate 'em.

next. high heels.

now. don't get me wrong. if you can rock a fine pair of heels and catch the attention of a hormonal male (or female for that matter.) kudos to you. i, however, simply cannot. i'm clumsy & i'm afraid of heights. therefore, heels simply aren't my thing. & yes. i bought a pair. not by choice, by force. (debate ruins my life.) & it killed me. just a little. though they are only three inches in height, that changes me. i become a 5 foot 3 and a half inch giant instead of a 5 foot 1 girl. i mean come on. every time i put them on i vomit from the altitude change. it's rough. plus. when i have them on, i look like i am trying to be something i am not. maybe it's my feminist tendencies, but miss mandi does not need a pair of heels to rock your world.

and finally.

the public restroom.

i dry heave just at the sound of those four syllables. how hard is it to flush a toilet, turn off a sink, wash your hands? no. not hard at all. yet, people forget to do so. i drink a whole lot of dr. pepper and it simply goes right through me. it's a diuretic. and since i am continually on campus, i must resort to a public restroom. every. day. (& now talking about it, i feel the need to use it again.) but seriously people. wash. your. hands. and dry them. nobody wants to put a hand on that bathroom door and feel damp afterwards. that's nasty. germs don't usually phase me, i mean, i shop at thriftstores and work at a pool. but bathroom germs. bleck. gur-roh-sss. oh. and get this. sometimes in movies people make out in the bathroom stalls. kind of like a hide out. i didn't think it really happened. that it was all show business. but get this... it does. witness. right here. i won't go into detail or anything cause that is gross. but i saw it. & i wrote about it. so after i am dead, you can read about it in my journal.

anyways. those are my fears.

they make no sense to you.

they make sense to me.

but that's how life is.

i read in a book once...

"but its a funny thing about other people's phobias, when you don't share them, you pick at them like a scab. you want to remove them."

-feast of love. (charles baxter.)

it sounds funny. but oh how true it is.

i hope you have irrational fears. it makes life more interesting.

n'stuff.