Dear World,

I Have Lost My Mind.

Truly, Is it really possible to be a social reject in your own family. Si. Si. It is possible. I have experienced it first hand. You're supposed to feel safe with your fam right? Oh oh oh woah No way Jose'. Not happening. I sat by myself, in a dark corner, rocking bach and forth, clutching harry and singing brother neil to myself. My only friend was my uncle darin. A drunk. I liked it. Alot. I didn't mind all that bad. Up in the wilderness, barely any phone reception and a crazy bunch of sares. Life doesn't get better than that.

Daddy and I went off roading in the truck. We listened to country. Very fitting. I wore cowboy boots with my guard shorts and a windbreaker. I felt completed. I sat in the front of that truck jolting high enough to hit my head with every bounce, belting my lungs out to "A little bit of chicken fried" and "Big green tractor" with a pile of kids and mattresses in the back, with grandpa, wearing wranglers whistling along by my side, and I couldn't help but think these were good times. "God is good, beer is great, and people are crazy." There was snow. I had a snow ball fight, in my cowboy boots in the middle of no where. I peed in flocks of trees multiple times and slept in a log cabin on a bunk bed under a giant moose head. I watched cowboy movies and I have come to the conclusion, once again, that I will, I repeat, will marry a cowboy, no doubt about it.

I spent saturday night with my little buddy, Ethan. He's two. We watched cars, his favorite movie, and we played with guns and cowboy hats. I taught him a new saying, "What the." They little tyke ventured the cabin saying that all night, "what the. what the. what the." Oh shoot. I heart little kids. It reminds me of how I cannot wait to grow up and have my own children. All I want in life is a fam. Ha, that'll be an adventure.

First term is over. I wish it wasn't. Cause, my grades? No bueno. No bueno. Attendance school, here I come. Bayles 1st period, I bid you adeiu. Mr. Casey? Lets get hitched, we'll break horses together. Swim team? You really aren't that bad, I am starting to enjoy you. Seminary B4. As your pres, I say goodbye. Bro. D, Sorry bout it, nothing I can do really. I have realized that when I graduate the highschool, I am screwed. I cannot handle life on my own. I simply cannot. My daddy, he handles all. Mandi, shes in trouble. I like it. I have realized also, that I may be "in like" again. No bueno. I don't like boys. But hmmm. We'll see how this pans out.

Well, world. I heart you, I do. Say hello to everyone for me, mr. obama. Tell him I say hi.

With love,
Miss Mandi